Happy Monday! Narito ang ilang mga jokes na pakalat-kalat lang sa social media.
Bathroom Cleaner
May kuwento nga pala ako sa inyo mga bro. Last Wednesday, nasa BGC ako. Meeting sa client. May lumapit sa akin na promo girl. Medyo nakainom yata at inalok ako ng sex. Ang kapalit lang daw, mag-advertise ako sa mga kaibigan ko ng bathroom cleaner na pino-promote nila.
Siyempre brad hindi ako pumayag. Ano ako utu-uto? Naisip ko pamilya ko. Sex lang ‘yun. Mas mahal ko pamilya ko. Buti na lang malakas kontrol ko!
Kasing lakas ng DOMEX, the incredibly strong bathroom cleaner na talagang nakakalinis at nakakapatay ng germs. Available siya in lemon scent at only ₱9.50 na lang with 30% discount. Available sa inyong suking tindahan at groceries nationwide.
Home Depot Scam
A heads-up for those men who are regular SM Home Depot customers.
Over the last month, I’ve fallen victim to a clever scam while out shopping. What started as a simple supply run turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive — this could happen to you or your friends!
Here’s how the scam works:
Two very good-looking girls, probably around 20 or 21, approach your car as you’re loading your shopping into the trunk. They start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex — and their skimpy T-shirts are barely hanging on. Naturally, it’s impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer a tip, they refuse and instead ask for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree, and they hop into the back seat.
On the way there, they start undressing until they’re completely naked. Then, one of them climbs into the front seat, crawling all over you, kissing you, touching you, and — well, you get the picture — while the other steals your wallet!
I had my wallet stolen on September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, then again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also on October 1st, 4th, 6th, 9th, three times last Saturday, and very likely again this coming weekend.
So please, warn your friends to be careful.
The best times seem to be just before lunch and around 4:30 p.m.
P.S. Robinsons has wallets on sale for ₱49.99.
Pinoy Salesman in America
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I asked him where he’s going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he’ll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper Camper Tents.
Then the guy said, “While we’re at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.”
“Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind!”
Pimples
Dalawang Kriminal